Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: rossix!amber.dnet!joelga@openlink.openlink.com (Joel Garry X210 12-Aug-19
Date: Fri, 13 Jan 95 19:30:03 EST

Results of Time Efficiency Study of Interdepartmental Communications -
Development Responses to Support Questions.  Please evaluate and implement.

In order to reduce the backlog of the Support Department (SPT), increase
productivity, and decrease the time the Development Department (DEV)
spends answering SPT questions, DEV will use the following list of numbered
reasons to speed up answers in n-dimensional humanoid interface sessions,
to user questions SPT is unable to answer and must pass along to DEV:

	1.  Bug.
	2.  Feature.
	3.  Upgrade.
	4.  Tell them "Don't do that."
	5.  Ow!
	6.  Huh-huh, huh-huh.
	7.  Check Quotas.
	8.  Wish List.
	9.  Fixed in the next release.
	10. In a future release.
	11. How's that again?
	12. Cool!
	13. We'll get back to you on that.
	14. That's in the land between bug and they're doing it wrong.
	15. You never asked us _that_.
	16. Yes.
	17. Not our product.
	18. Not our product's fault.
	19. Flat negation.
	20. Need more info.
	21. Why do they want to do that?
	22. Outside the product parameters.
	23. They don't get the point.
	24. They're unclear on the concept.
	25. Who said they can do that?
	26. They lied.
	27. Reevaluate their medication.
	28. Reevaluate optometry.
	29. They are mutants.
	30. (Expletive deleted).

Bureau of Redundancy Department