[Presumably from Phoenix via USENET REC.ARTS.HUMOR; 
posted to LIFE_UNIVERSE_EVERYTHING by BRIDGE::SERT92PF 13-OCT-1993]
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411)  New Format CS News  19.1.88

 It is widely felt that the Message of the Day, INFO.NEW,
INFO.MISCNEW and the Newsletter present news about the Computing
Service in an unnecessarily negative way. For example recent
headlines have included "Apologies for 13 hours downtime due to
termites", "See INFO.WEEKEND about unattended Securicor guard",
"No coffee available - new part being ordered from Tehran", and
"Catastrophic disc crash - all odd-numbered tracks lost".) This
does not reflect the fact that, by and large, everything in the
Computing Service is just fine (see INFO.EAGLE.CURRENT.STATUS).

 As a result it has been agreed that future Messages of the Day,
News files etc, will attempt to include positive items of news.
Some planned for next week include:

 Today's disc crash only minor -- some files saved.

 No new EAGLE bugs discovered since 10 a.m. Users report rogue
jobs running on time.

 Securicor man did not bite dog -- official.

 DIY printer currently stacking paper almost correctly.

 MAIL system running -- expert investigating.

 Tape Library "only partially destroyed" by holocaust.

 Thrilled user gets answer from OPSEND.

 Versatec clocks up a trouble-free day.

 Suggestion E0192345 discussed by special CS committee. "Noted"
verdict likely.

 Less than three CS staff go mad this month.

 If any users have no problems, User Services will be delighted
to hear from them, so that they can tell everyone else.