IN-HOUSE STAFF TRAINING _______________________ Many members of staff have expressed a wish for further training to help them deal with clients, suppliers and other members of staff. We have selected the following courses with a view to improving staff performance both in motivation and abilities in various other directions. These courses can be booked either via your department head or directly. SELF IMPROVEMENT ________________ SI 100 Creative Suffering SI 101 Overcoming Peace of Mind SI 102 Ego Gratification through Violence SI 103 Dealing with Post-Realisation Depression SI 104 Overcoming Self-Doubt through Pretence and Ostentation SI 105 Whine your way to Alienation SI 106 Guilt without Sex SI 107 Feigning Knowledge - A Career Advancement Strategy SI 108 Keeping Facts out of Management Structures SI 109 Carrying a Piece of Paper while Walking Briskly BUSINESS AND CAREER ___________________ BC 100 The Underachievers' Guide to Very Small Business Opportunities BC 101 How to Profit from your own Body BC 102 Tatooing your Colleagues as an Income Supplement BC 103 Credit Purchasing with your Kidney Donor Card CRAFTS ______ C 100 Bonsai your Pet C 101 Self-Actualisation through Macrame C 102 Origami for Self-Defence C 103 Drawing Genitalia in Soft Pastel Shades (Summer Term only) C 104 Needlecraft for Vaccinators HOME ECONOMICS ______________ HE 100 Cultivating Viruses in a Household Refridgerator HE 101 Sinus Drainage in the Modern Marriage HE 102 Basic Kitchen Taxidermy HE 103 1001 Other Uses for your Vacuum Cleaner FITNESS AND HEALTH __________________ FH 100 The Joys of Hypochondria FH 101 High Fibre Sex/Bio-Feedback and How to Stop It FH 102 Skate your Way to Regularity FH 103 Tap-Dance to Social Ridicule FH 104 Snap Out Of It/Pull Yourself Together * FH 105 Eating with Plastic Spoons * * Organised by the Samaritans