[Bonzo Dog]

Tadpoles - The Bonzo Dog Band

With thanks to Princess WhiteGoat and Annie Sattler: original text version of their transcription, dated June 1995. Thanks also to Keith Gordon for some missing words.
Contents | History | Tracks | Discography | Gallery | Radio/TV/Films | Links
The transcriptions on this site have been contributed by fans for fans as a labour of love and as a tribute to the creating artists. The copyrights of the relevant artists, records companies and other rights holders are acknowledged. This is a non-commercial site. Some of the many other lyrics collections
Discography entry

Hunting Tigers out in "Indiah"

(Hargreaves/Damerell/Evans)

With big, hungry tigers, table manners have no place.
Dear dear dear, no, dear dear dear, no, dear dear, oh dear, no.
After they have eaten you, they never say their Grace.
Dear dear dear, no, dear dear dear, no, dear dear, oh dear, no.

Hunting tigers can be ripping fun.
Like three blind mice, see the hunters run.

Hunting tigers out in "Indiah".
Out in, out in, out in "Indiah". Yah!

You all know how beastly tigers are
Out in, out in, out in "Indiah".

They bite, they scratch,
They make an awful fuss.
It's no use stroking them and saying "puss puss puss",
Oh, hunting tigers out in "Indiah".
Out in, out in, out in "Indiah". Yah!

[Instrumental]

They bite, they scratch,
They make an awful fuss.
It's no use stroking them and saying "puss puss puss",
Oh, hunting tigers out in "Indiah".
Out in, out in, out in "Indiah". Yah!

"I say, J.O., it's jolly frightening out here."
"Nonsense, dear boy, you should be like me!"
"But look at you, you're shaking all over!"
"Shaking, you silly goose, I'm just doing the Watusi, that's all."

Tigers don't go out on rainy nights.
They've no need to whet their appetites.

Hunting tigers out in "Indiah".
Out in, out in, out in "Indiah". Yah!

How many tigers can you find with forks and serviettes?
Dear dear dear, no, dear dear dear, no, dear dear, oh dear, no.
Don't care in what part of you they fix their fretwork sets.
Dear dear dear, no, dear dear dear, no, dear dear, oh dear, no.

Hunting tigers can be ripping fun.
Like three blind mice, see the hunters run!
Hunting tigers out in "Indiah".
Out in, out in, out in "Indiah". Yah!
Hunting tigers out in "Indiah".
Out in, out in, out in "Indiah". Yah!

Shirt

(R.R. Spear)

[Munching sound]

Hello. Well, that was the sound of Roger's Wah-Wah rabbits. You heard them eating endives there. That's very cheap at this time of the year. But now, here in Willesden Green, yes, brrr, it is a bit chilly, but, no matter, because here comes a gentleman, and we're going to talk to him about shirts.

Excuse me, sir, would you mind talking to us about shirts?
Hey, what?
About shirts.
Shirts?
Yes.
I've got plenty at home.
Heh ...good grief...
And here comes a lady with an enchanting... little... kangaroo. ...and I'm going to ask her something about shirts. No I'm not... because she's giving me a rather a vulgar sign..
Uh... would you... 'scuse me... would you mind... we're talking about shirts.
Eh?
About shirts.
Shirts?
Yes. The problem of shirts. The kind of... y'know... are they necessary? Shirts.
[Foreign accent:] Where it is.
Yes... where it is. Where is shirts?
I don't know.
You don't know? Umm... oh dear...
Ah... There's a gentleman marching down here with a really determined stride. He looks a little cautious. He's... hopping. 'Scuse me, sir, would you mind talking to me for a moment at all?
Well, whatd'ya mean, guv'nor, what d'y'wanta know?
Well, we're talking about shirts. About, are they still necessary, d'you think, I mean, do you think they should stop making shirts?
Oh no. Not at all. A man's not dr, not dressed unless he's got a nice on guv'nor, is he?
Not really. What about the length of the shirt, 'cos the old ones used to be rather long...
Well, I'm all for the short shirt. The old type's old fashioned make. Gotta be a bit modern these days, guv'nor, ain't yer?
Yes. OK. Well, you're certainly with it, aren't you?
Well, they are. You gotta be with it.
Cor, that's the stuff
Yes.
Right. OK, well, thank you very much.
Right-ho, bye-bye.
Bye-bye.

Well, I think we're gonna have to leave it there, and I'm gonna take you right away, straight over to the Earls Court Olympia to watch the Shirt Event. I'll repeat that, the Shirt Event. I'll repeat that, the Shirt Event. I'll repeat that, the Shirt Event.

[Song]

Oo-oo. La laa la la la la-ah, la laa la la la la-a... [Fades to back, as dialogue starts:]

Good morning, could I have this shirt cleaned express, please?
Yes, that'll be three weeks, dearie.
Three weeks? But the sign outside says "59 Minute Cleaners"!
Yes, that's just the name of the shop, luv. We take three weeks.
Just the name of the shop?
Yes. That is, if there's an "R" in the month, of course, otherwise it's four weeks.
Oh!
Your name does begin with a "P", doesn't it?
Well, no, actually...
Well, that'll be five weeks, then... except it's a leap year, which will take a little bit longer... and then, you'll never even get your shirt...
Five Weeks! Blimey!

[Singing commences]

Shirt. Shirt. Shirt. Shakin' the shirt.
Shirt. Shirt. Shirt. Shakin' the shirt.

Well, I'm shakin' my shirt all over the place,
But it's been thrown off, back in my face.

[Kazoo or paper+comb?]

Shirt. Shirt. Shirt. Shakin' the shirt.

"New horizons in sound now, as Roger plays a solo on the electric shirt-collar..."

[Solo, with assorted arduous panting and groaning]

Shirt. Shirt. Shirt. Shakin' the shirt.
Shir..T. Shir..T. Shakin' the shirt.
Oooooo...

Tubas in the Moonlight

(R.R. Spear)

Through the twilight, I can hear the humming of a melancholy coon. (mm-mm)
Of the memories that still linger, I thank you mister Moon.
And, although I've never smiled,
Winter, summer, autumn too,
Now here's one tune to remind me why I feel so blue-oo...

Tubas in the moonlight, playing for me all night,
Tell me what I want to hear.
Am I only dreaming?
Am I only scheming?
Stars above me, shining brightly.
Why can't she be sitting here beside me?
Tubas in the moonlight will bring my loved one home.

[instrumental verses]

Tubas in the moonlight will bring my loved one home.

Dr. Jazz

(Oliver/Melrose)

[Instrumental]

Monster Mash

(Pickett/Capizzi)

I'm The Urban Spaceman

(N. Innes)

Ali Baba's Camel

(Gay)

You've heard of Ali Baba: forty thieves had he.
Out for what we all want: lots of LSD.
He also had a camel. Stole it from a zoo.
How he loved the camel, and the camel loved him too.
Oh, how the how the camel loved Ali Ba(r)Ba(r)!

Ali Baba's camel loved Ali Baba so,
No matter where he went to, that camel had to go.
Some say that he's in heaven, but this I know is true.
Wherever you think Ali has gone, his camel's gone there too.

(Oh, buddy cam-ee)

Crossing the Equator, oooo, how hot it was.
Poor old Ali Baba cursed and swore, because
He was so very thirsty, and everybody knows
It's horrible to walk for miles with sand between your toes.
Oh, how the camel loved Ali Baba... brrrrr!

Ali Baba's camel turned round and licked his hand.
He said, "Oh, Ali Baba, I surely understand."
"We must find an oasis and get a drink somehow."
"But, hark! I hear the temple bells! They'll all be open now."

[Retching noises]
[Sir Henry:] "Bleah bleah. Glorious sphere: fills you right up with it - aahh."

They entered for the races at the desert sports.
There goes Ali's camel in his filthy cotton shorts.
The starter cracked his pistol; off the camel's hared.
Ali Baba's camel wins by half a camel's hair.
Hey Ali Baba
Hey Ali Baba
Your camel loves you
Your camel loves you

Ali Baba's camel had run for miles and miles.
His tail was pointing backwards: that's how a camel smiles.
But Ali and his camel, they both were out of breath.
They'd run so far, they laughed so much,
They laughed themselves to death.

[Mourning sounds]

Oh! Gather round the campfire! Sing a roundelay!
But don't sing out of tune, though.
Cause eggs are cheap today!
Sing of Ali Baba, sing about his men,
Sing about his camel, and then sing it all again.
[Chanted:] Oh, how the camel loved Ali Baba.

Ali Baba's camel loved Ali Baba so.
No matter where he went to, that camel had to go.
Some say that he's in heaven, but this I know as well:
Wherever you think Ali has gone, his camel's gone to...

Hey, give us a tune there, Jock!
Yahoo!

Laughing Blues

(Bradley)

[Instrumental]

By A Waterfall

(Kahal/Fain)

By a waterfall, I'm calling you-o-o-o.
We can share it all beneath a ceiling of blue.
We'll spend a heavenly day
Here where the whispering waters play.

There's a whippoorwhill. He's calling you-o-o-o.
By a waterfall, he's dreaming too.
There's a magic melody
Mother nature sings to me
Beside a waterfall with you.

Altogether, now.

By a waterfall, I'm calling you-o-o-o.
We can share it all beneath a ceiling of blue.
We'll spend a heavenly day
Here where the whispering waters play
[water pouring]

There's a whippoorwhill. He's calling you-o-o-o.
By a waterfall, he's dreaming too.
he's dreaming too

A magic melody mother nature sings to meee
Beside a waterfall with you.
With you.
only you
Thinking only of you.
[whistle]
Wanting only to be with you.
Needing desperately to be with you.

Mr. Apollo

(V. Stanshall/N. Innes)

Canyons of Your Mind

(V. Stanshall)


Footnotes

Willesden Green

A West London suburb. Adjacent suburbs: Wembley (to the West), Cricklewood, Hampstead, Kensal Green. These days part of the London Borough of Brent. This area is a favourite for comedic references (e.g. The Goodies often referred to Cricklewood; The National Theatre of Brent).

LSD

The money! Pounds (L or ), shillings and pence - before decimalisation on 15th February 1971.
[Bonzo Dog]
Contents | History | Tracks | Discography | Gallery | Radio/TV/Films | Links